I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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