Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
