i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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