I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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