Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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