I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
