you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
