U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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