Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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