One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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