Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
