you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
