Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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