shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
