Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
