We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
whose parrot is this?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
