brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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