Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize