and you said cock pushups were impossible
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We are two peas in an std pod
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
