hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
