FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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