i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We are all done wearing pants today
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
