but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize