Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
