I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
