Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
