Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
