you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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