she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
