Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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