we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
