office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
