jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
