we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Houston, we have a blender
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
