why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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