Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
