I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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