great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
