....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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