someone owes me an orgasm
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The struggles of a small town man whore
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
