just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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