I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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