i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
