Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
