What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
