Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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