you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
