This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
