Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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