Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
