i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I wish you could order shots online.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
