Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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