Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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