I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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