Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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