We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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