i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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