Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
