I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
