i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Pants are for mortals
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
