i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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