So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Randomize