Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
