yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
