Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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