I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
